If you have your Bible this morning, I invite you to open it up to the book of Colossians. You guys who have been here, know that we have been in this message series on Paul's letter to the church at Colossae. For some time now we started in chapter one, verse one. And we have been going through it looking at every single thing that Paul had to say to the church at Colossae. And what it says to us today, and if you haven't been here, just to kind of catch you up really quickly, Paul spent two chapters in this letter sharing these indicative truths, these truths about who Jesus really was, who he is how we are, to understand him, he was writing to declare the supremacy in the superiority of Jesus Christ to all things. He was not just writing about who Jesus was, though, but about his finished work on the cross and the grace that He extends to us and that when we receive His grace, through His finished work on the cross, we become new creations in Christ, we get transformed on the inside, through the spiritual union that we enter into, and with that spiritual union in Jesus Christ, it is now Jesus plus nothing that equals everything for us. We have everything that we will need for life and godliness, the moment we say yes to Jesus, as a matter of fact, he even already makes us like Jesus, in that spiritual union, at the core of your being, you are already conformed to the image of Christ. And then he does this outworking of conforming you to the image of Christ through your personality and your speech and your actions and the roles that He created you to be a part of in his kingdom work as he works in and through you as an instrument. And so after the Apostle Paul gets finished unpacking all of these truths about the superiority of Christ and all that we have in him, he then begins to make practical application. As we get to chapter three, he says, Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things. And as we we do, he then begins to work these things out of us that he's already put in us. And so as he's made practical applications, he's used the image throughout chapter three of clothing. And he says, There's clothes that maybe you used to wear, which are behaviors and actions that we used to participate in, when we, before we had Christ, our old self, and those no longer align with who you are. And so he says, to get rid of things like sexual immorality, and greed, and lying and slander, and malice, because those things don't line up with the new creation that you've become in Christ. They used to be part of who you were, you used to go to those things to get your needs met. But now that Jesus has met all of your needs, you no longer have to go to those things. Because let's be honest, they never ultimately provided for your needs in the first place. You just had to have more and more and more of those things. So Paul's images like those things don't belong anymore. So just take them off the same way. You take a dirty shirt, author, old clothes, stop wearing your old clothes, they don't match who you are. Instead, he says, Put on your new clothes. And here's the new clothes that match who you are the clothes of compassion, the clothes of kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love. He says, you already have peace in Christ. So let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, May you experience His peace. And he says to let the message of Christ dwell among you as you teach and admonish one another. We are to point each other to the Jesus plus nothing equals everything gospel, we are to admonish and warn each other from straying from adding anything to Jesus, right. And so this is what he's called us to. And then he says, in basically the end of the section we looked at last week, whatever it is that you do, do it in the name of the Lord, because Jesus gave his life for you, to put his life in you to express his life through you in whatever it is that you are doing. He applies to all areas of life. And today, he's going to show us how it applies to our life in the home how it makes a difference as a husband, as a wife, as a parent, as a child. And back in this day, as you'll see even the relationship between slaves and slave owners, which of course, no longer apply to us today, but we'll talk more about that when we get there. So let's see, the practical application that Paul makes that the Spirit inspired him to write out of the new creation that we become on the inside is to how this affects who we are as a husband, a wife, a parent, a child, and so on, and so on. The very first thing that he does is address the wives, he says, Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. And so this concludes our message for today, I'm going to pray and you will be dismissed. Hopefully, none of you who are husbands elbowed your wife whenever I read that statement there. There's a lot when we see that initially, that kind of makes us uncomfortable sometimes, though, right? I mean, we see it and we're just living a different day and age. And it's a little awkward, like, really, I mean, what's Paul really talking about there. And so the first thing that we need to just talk about is the culture that he was writing to the culture in this particular day and age 2000 years ago, very different than our culture. Today. At that time, people lived in these households where the man was in charge, he was in charge of his wife, and his children and his slaves. And sometimes men even had concubines, and this was a patriarchal society, meaning the relationships existed in an unequal way, that he was high and exalted above in status, and they were all below him, he was the master of the house, he benefited the rest of the people in the house by providing for them. And then they benefited him by doing his Biddy, if you will, the wife was expected to benefit him by bearing male heirs, her role in the family was to have kids, specifically boys, right, this is the way they would benefit him as the master of the household, his children were considered as legal property. And so they would benefit him through the work that they would do as they grow up and got older and to contribute in the home. Slaves were also certainly his property at that time, and obviously, would benefit him through the work that he did. And if he had concubines, which wasn't biblical, by the way that they were there to benefit him through pleasure. And so basically, by law, the master of the household was a man. And he was the only fully legal person in the family. In this day and age, he had the power over all property, and almost absolute authority over every member in it. And so here's my question, if that's true, if the man had absolute power and authority, especially in a legal way, then why in the world, would Paul need the right Intel wives to submit?I mean, they were already expected to do so they had to he was the master of the household. This was just the way things were. And so if that's just the way that they were, why in the world where you have to write to tell them what to do when they already knew, that's what they were supposed to do. The reason is, is because the gospel transformed the way that women were seen within this society. The Gospel completely transformed this. Women were obviously seen as unequal to men, men were considered superior to women, wives were required to submit to their husbands, but the gospel elevated the status of women. In Colossians, chapter three, verse 11, Paul began to talk about how there's no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, and he's listed all of these things and, and even though he doesn't list it here, he says the exact same thing in Galatians. And he lists specifically their men and women, is the whole point is Christ is all and is in all, and we all become equal in status. There's no reason to have to use these kinds of things, to elevate ourselves above other people to carry worth and significance and value to get loved and to feel the acceptance that we need. And so because that's true, because the gospel transformed that relationship, then Paul now writes, and tells wives to voluntarily submit to their husbands before they didn't have a choice. Now they have a choice. And Paul says, to choose to submit to your husband. I was reading a number of commentaries around this this week. One of them was that in the application commentary written by Dr. David garland, he's a professor at Tru at Theological Seminary, and he highlights a lot of things to help us really kind of understand what Paul is talking about here. The first thing that he said It was in the verb submit and original Greek that he used does not convey some innate inferiority, but it's used for a modest, cooperative demeanor that puts others first. The second thing that he said was submission was something expected of all Christians, regardless of their rank or gender. In Ephesians, chapter five, verse 21, he says it, he says, Submit to one another. Last time I checked one another met both men and women, he was writing the letter to both men and women. And so evidently, he expected both men and women to submit to each other. In Philippians, chapter two, verses three and four, you may remember there, how he talks about how we are to look out for others interests, and to put their needs and interests above our own to think of them first. In other words, that's a way of putting ourselves underneath them, to serve them and meet their needs. And once again, he's writing that to a congregation of men and women. And then the final thing that he kind of points out here is that in contrast to what we're going to see in a minute, and contrast to the commands to children and slaves, Paul does not tell his wives to obey their husbands in the commands to children and slaves, he uses the active imperative, command command, obey your children. The verb submit, though, however, here is in the middle voice, and implies a voluntary submission, it makes the wife submission, her willing choice, not some universal law, that ordains masculine dominance, if you've ever read this verse before, and as husband, then thought your role was that of masculine dominance, because your wife is to submit to you, then you've misread the text. You've not seen it correctly here. Basically, what I think Paul is saying, just to sum it up, in my own words, with a lot of what we've seen in Colossians, so far, is that Paul says to wives, that as a new creation in Christ, who has been made in equal in status with her husband, and whose needs are fully met in Christ, as you keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, which he said to do, and Colossians, one at the beginning of this chapter, He will lead you to voluntarily come under your husband, to love him to serve Him, and support him as Christ works in you, and through you to do so. As soon as Paul finishes making this statement here, he would, she'll do all throughout this section, he now switches and talks about the husbands role. And he says, Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Now, in this particular society, that Paul was writing to, and in the culture, that was unheard of women were beneath men, as we said, he was the master of the household, he could treat them however it is that he thought necessarily unnecessary to run the house effectively. And so for Paul, to tell husbands to love their wives and not be harsh with them was pretty radical in this day and age. And quite honestly, it even brings some light to what Paul was saying about submission. Because if if Paul is telling the husbands to love your wife sacrificially, and to not be harsh with them, then one of the things that he's saying is you are not to demand or command your wife to Well, I was going to flip back to that verse, But I forgot it was way back their wives to submit to you. Right? If you're to sacrificially love them and not be harsh with them, then that means your role is not to say, you must submit to me and you must demand or demand that submission from them. The other thing it says is about what this kind of looks like the Greek word that's translated love here is agape. He says to agape, your wives, this unconditional love, this sacrificial kind of love that we see that even God has for us. As a matter of fact, in Ephesians, five, which is the parallel passage to what we're looking at here in Colossians, three, you can read much of the same things. It's almost word for word, what Paul says here with some slightly additions to it in Ephesians, five, but they are he says, Husbands, love your wives, and he put a qualifier on it. He says, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, just as means to love your wives the same way that Christ loved the church so we get the picture in mind of what Paul is talking about when he says to love our wives. Well, how is it that Christ loved the church, well sacrificially, so much so that he was willing to die for the church, he laid down his life so that we could have forgiveness and eternal life with Him. This is the ultimate sacrifice of love that someone would make. Now, I do need to clarify this, because I have actually heard people teach from a stage when they get to that, especially when it's in the Ephesians part of it, and say, since Jesus was willing to die sacrificially for the church, and you're to love your wives the same way that Jesus did, then your role is to be willing to lay down your life for your wife, and so on the slim chance that somebody shoots a gun at your wife one day, you have the opportunity to jump in front of them. And that's the way that you love them sacrificially because Jesus died. So that's your role just to be willing to die for your wife. All you got to do. I mean, and that's a high sacrifice. But are we really narrowing that all the way down to say, the one thing that you that he means by loving your wife sacrificially is to just be willing to die for her is that the only way that Jesus sacrificially loved the church, of course not think about the glory in the riches that Jesus gave up that he sacrificed to come here he gave, Jesus gave up life as he knew it in heaven, and willingly put our needs ahead of his needs. All throughout His earthly ministry, you see him him putting others needs before his needs all throughout His earthly ministry, so much so that he was willing to die for us. And so if that's the way that he loved the church, putting others needs before ours, than our role as husbands when he says to love your wives is to put their needs above our own, which quite honestly sounds a lot like submission, doesn't it? Just saying.Oh, also note that this is not a conditional thing. It doesn't say Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them if they're submitting to you. If they're choosing for whatever reason to not submit to you and mistreating you in that way, guess what Paul still says, the expression of Christ in you and through you will be to love your wives and still not be harsh with them. We are to put our wives needs ahead of our own if we're going to sacrificially love them her desires her wants were to value her above ourselves. This is our role men, children, dresses you next, obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord, can I get an amen? Sorry, kids just had to do it. Now, if men in this particular day and age, were the master of their households, then children had to obey their parents had to obey their father. So once again, why in the world is Paul having to write to children and tell them to do that, if he's the master of the household, and they were required to do so? Well, once again, just like the gospel transforms and elevates the status of women that does the same with children. Jesus was surrounded by the kids, the religious leaders of the day, and all the others were trying to get the kids away from him. And he said, What let the kids come to me. They're valued in my kingdom, right. And so he elevates the status of children as well. And in Christ, we're all equal in status. We're brothers and sisters in Christ, even as fathers and sons and daughters here and have an equal status. But even with that being said, God has put parents in the role of raising children. And he works in them and through them as we keep our eyes fixed on Him, to teach, to discipline to love our kids. And the proper response of a child is to understand that this is what's best for you and to obey what your parents are saying, because if a parent's eyes are focused on Jesus, and he's working in and through them, then you're saying yes or no, ultimately to your parents or to Jesus. This is the way it works if we're open and available to him. Now, I do want to say that this certainly isn't a blanket statement as if you happen to have some really cruddy parents who were telling you to disobey or break the law or to go do something against God's will. You're, well, I'm supposed to obey my parents. I guess I got to rob the bank because they told me to No, duh, right. I mean, obviously We're not talking about those kinds of things. I personally don't think that this also means that you as children can ask questions, you can't ask why. Now, that doesn't mean that you go, why? Why do I got to do that and just complain and whine and whimper and never do it, right. There's certainly a way that Christ will work in you and through you to respect your parents and obey them, and then maybe come back and go, Hey, I did what you asked me to do. And I'm not trying to rebel or anything, I just, I'm just seeking understanding, can I just can we just have a conversation around why that rule is in place, or what it is that it's for most parents I know, who don't have identity issues, are willing to enter into those conversations and go, Yeah, that's what I'm here. It's the parents who don't understand who they are in Christ. And you just need your can't put your kids to obey you and not ask any questions. Because the control you get from that, and the power that you receive from that is your value and your worth, and where you're trying to get your needs met other than Jesus are the ones are going now you can't ask me any questions. You're the kid. And you just do what I say. Right? I mean, that's, that's what we're talking about here. If it's Jesus plus, nothing equals everything. And your identity is rooted in him. And they're asking questions, and, okay, let's talk about it says what Jesus is leading me to do and how he's guiding us as a family, because our role is to guide them and shepherd them and grow them up and to be who it is that God called them to be in His Kingdom work. So he addresses the children, as he did with the wives, and then the husbands now he addresses fathers, he says, fathers do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Once again. Fathers were the masters of the household, they could treat their kids any way that they wanted, because they were seen as property. But once again, Christ elevates the status of our children. They're on equal footing when it comes to that. And so we, it changes the way that fathers and really us as parents, this Greek word could ultimately be translated father and mother, both sets of parents. And so what does it mean, though, to not embittered your children? Like, I can read that? And I'm going, I don't really know what that means. Like, can you help me understand what it looks like to not Ambetter? My children? Well, the word that Paul uses they're in the Greek has to do with things like nagging and belittling them, or like overly harsh punishment, it's the parent who's always pointing out everything that their kids are doing wrong, and never catching them doing what's right. It's the kid that comes home with all A's on the report card, and one bee and the parent who just belittles them for making the bee and why they couldn't do better than they actually did. At that point in time. It's overly harsh, and it leaves the kids becoming discouraged and feeling like they're never enough, they can never do enough to please you, as the parents, you're always wanting more and more and more. And quite honestly, there are grown adult men and women who are still trying to please their fathers, because that's the life that we grew up under. And then that gets projected sometimes on God who's a father figure. And we feel like we can't ultimately please Him because we keep sinning and we keep failing all the time. And so this is what he's talking about here. Jesus wants our kids to know that in Christ, they are enough that they are often conditionally loved. Now, that doesn't mean that we don't discipline our children, doesn't mean that we're not firm with them when their behavior is not what it's supposed to be. And they're out of bounds or acting in certain ways. But it means if Jesus is leading us to discipline and correct behavior, then ultimately you will be in a way where we're not nagging. We're we're not belittling them in any way. And we're not overly harsh in the way that we do that as parents.Finally, like I mentioned earlier, Paul gets to what was common in a household in this day and age, and that was slaves in the relationship between slaves and their masters. And so he dressed His slaves first and says, obey your earthly masters in everything and do it not only when their eyes on you to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart, and with reverence for the Lord. He says, Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ. He says that you are serving in anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. Now, the first question most people want to ask when we get to something like this where Paul is addressing the relationship between slaves and Masters is, why didn't Paul just settle this once? And for all? Why didn't he condemn slavery? And just put a stop to this? Why didn't he create some movement to actually free slaves? And that's a good question. The first thing that I would say is in no way that because Paul addresses this kind of a relationship, does the Bible or Paul condone slavery, we've already read passages where Paul elevated the status of slaves, he says, There are no difference between those who are slaves in those who are free, we're all one in Christ. And if you were to go to church, and go to the church at Colossae, when they gathered together, there were slaves and masters who were on equal footing, who were brothers and sisters in Christ, who were worshiping together on equal status. But I think part of the answer is that Paul, in the early Christians were not in a situation where they could change the institution of slavery, the Holy Spirit was guiding them to spread the movement of Christianity to go from nothing, to grow it into a movement that we would be still talking about today. And to then begin to put all of the emphasis on trying to socially destroy something that was so entrenched into their society would have probably put the death nail into the Christianity coffin in movement. And so what Paul does here is he kind of, through talking about the relationships that existed and, and just talking about the way the Lord would lead us into those things as he would take his own time to dismantle that throughout history, to undermine slavery, while encouraging them, how the Lord would lead them to work in and through these relationships. And so basically, what he's saying to slaves is that even though you're on equal status, even though you've been raised to that status is an earthly manner, work for these earthly masters in the same way that you would be working for your ultimate master, serve Christ in and through this relationship and those in the household. But again, just like he does, when he flips it, every time he mentioned ones, he does it here. And as soon as he addresses the slaves, he comes right back to the masters who are over those slaves. And so when addressing them, he says, masters, provide your slaves with what is right, and fair, because you know, that you also have a master in heaven. This would have been, again, radical in this day and age, a master could treat his property, which is what a slave was considered in this time, however, it is that he wanted to, and Paul saying, to treat them with respect and dignity, that this is how Christ now in you will express his life through you to treat them with respect and dignity. And since they're on equal status, and they have a new master in heaven, they were to allow their new Master Jesus to guide them in how they treated their slaves in this relationship that they had in the home. Now, I don't think I mean, this doesn't, when we're talking about application, like we're talking about what this says to the church at Colossae. And what it still says to us today, I think when we get to this section right here, it doesn't really speak much to us, because we're no longer in a society where this relationship exists. I mean, we have abolished slavery in that way. And so I don't think there's any direct application, sometimes people try to talk about, well, let's talk about the relationship between a business owner and then like the slave as the worker for them. And I just don't know if you can really make that connection. So I want to just focus mostly on how this plays out, as a husband, as a wife, as a father, as a mother, as a child, in those relationships here, especially in light of the new creation that we become, and that Jesus plus nothing equals everything. What does it look like as a new creation in Christ to be a husband, to be a wife to be a parent or a kid or a teenager? I think one of the ways that we need to keep this in mind as we bring practical application to it is to not forget what Paul said just before this section. The whole section has been this outworking of this new spiritual DNA that you have in Christ and putting on these new clothes that match who you've become in Christ. The clothes of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, love, forgiveness. So spouses, husbands and wives, Jesus is going to lead you to be Guess what? compassionate to your spouse. He's going to lead you to be kind to your spouse. He's going to lead you to be humble and to serve them and meet them. err needs to be gentle in conflict and patient to endure wrongs from each other. And then to forgive quickly, and to love each other above all things. Husbands, Jesus is going to work through you to notice your wife, to see her for who she is, to see her needs, that he wants you to be kind and meet, he's going to use you to cherish her for the daughter of God that she really is, he's going to work through you to stand up for her when the kids are treating her poorly, to thank her for all that she does to actively listen to her. And what it is that she is sharing and to just overall make sacrifices to lift her up, and to meet her needs and her desires and her wants, as Christ empowers you to be able to do so. Wives, Jesus is going to work through you to respect your husbands to give him opportunities to lead and to notice his efforts and to even acknowledge them verbally, I noticed the way that you are working hard for our family, the sacrifices that you are making, the way that you worked it out to be at our kids extracurricular activities, the way that I knew you retired, when you got home, and you still got on the floor and played with our kids, I see you and I love you. And I appreciate you. And I am proud of you. These are the things that Jesus will lead you to say to your husbands in the relationship that he has provided for you. Again, it's difficult to list all the exact ways but again, it will always be evidence you'll know it's happening. When you're seeing compassion. When you're seeing kindness, when you're seeing gentleness, forgiveness and love. That's what submission looks like and loving sacrificially looks like in all of these ways. Kids, what does it look like for you? How does this specifically apply to you today? Well, the close if you're a new creation in Christ, and you've said yes to Jesus, then match the new creation that you've become in Christ are the same. He's going to work through you to treat your parents with compassion, and to treat them with kindness and to treat them with humility and gentleness and patience and love. And yes, to even forgive them when they mess up because, well, we aren't perfect.He's going to lead you to trust that your parents have your best interest in mind to understand that God has given them the role of raising you up and preparing you for the role that you have in God's kingdom, that He created you to make impact in this world. And so follow their guidance, follow their rules, follow their expectations, and obey them as the Spirit empowers you to do. So. Parents we are to be aware, as I mentioned earlier, that in our flesh, we can sometimes try to find our identity through our kids in their performance. Like we whatever how it is that they're performing in the classroom, whatever it is that they're saying, however they're acting or not acting at the grocery store is a reflection on us and who we are and what everybody around us is going to think. And then we parent them based on the things that we need them to do to make us look good. And that's not Christian parenting. That's not the way Jesus works in and through us. Right. And so Jesus is going to use you to show unconditional love and to support your kids to God and discipline in ways that separate their behavior from who they are in Christ. which again means treating them with compassion, treating them with kindness, humbling yourself to meet their needs, being gentle with him and patient as you endure wrongs from them as your parents and to love them, and to forgive them quickly. Basically, if our eyes are fixed on Jesus and things above, he will express his life and love through us in our homes. And I think we would all agree that our homes would be a beautiful place. If Jesus was doing just that in and through us. Amen. Amen. Let's pray.